I am so not in the loop. Can't really explain it better than that. My friends have parties and I don't RSVP, or can't show up. Yeah sure if I worked real hard at finding someone to watch my kids and rush out and rush back so I am not out late. That could work. But I never enjoy myself. Always worried about how they are and will I get home in time for the sitter to get home safe.

Tonight my husband saw friends of mine and their daughters, both my daughters age, going out.

I guess I just don't fit in with anyone anymore. Sure school calls and asks me to voluteer, and I do most of the time. It is about my only way of socializing. Not too cool though being in charge of something and bossing folks around with assignments as a social life. The other things that I do like Cub Scouts and SciFi cons are all work related too. Again, running something and giving out assignments and telling folks what to do.

I am still not used to it, being lonely. I will be 45 next month and feel lonely. I just don't get along with people on a regular day to day social situation. Least I don;t think so. I have not even gotten out my Christmas cards!

I am kinda like a spring board for other people. They just stop by my little spot in the world and grow past me. The whole time I feel left, like a direction sign on the highway, "Turn left now, exit only".

I stopped making New Years resolutions about friendships after my divorce 16 years ago. Just like loosing weight, I get disappointed in my efforts.

Hey, I have my children and my husband.
And they Love me for me.