I know it is Christmas Day. I am thankful for that and I had a nice time with my folks and my family. We did not have much $ to get the kids lots of presents, but that is not the meaning of today. But it is not Christmas that has me down.
Yesterdays mail had my Social Security report in it. You know the reprot the gov sends to you every couple of years that tells you what your benifits will be when you need them or when you are oldenough to get the? That report. Well I have had no income since 2005. And when I did work I never made more than 23thou a year.
Don't missunderstand. I LOVE being a mom and taking care of my family. It is just that I always believed that being a contributor to your household was to also work outside the home. I don't know why I have this idea, my mom did not work. But I don't remember seeing her happy to see me when I came home from school either. She has always impressed me as a very depressed and sad and unfullfilled woman. I love my mom to the ends of the earth, but she is not happy. I don't want to end up that way. So when I finally got to yesterdays mail just about an hour ago and saw in 2004 I made 4thousand and a big goose egg the last two years and knowing I made nothing to help out this year, well I let it kick me in the throat and really get to me. I let it make me feel like a nothing.
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