I love you Jack

This morning my wonderful Jack dog was put to sleep. He was only 4-1/2 years old and still a puppy.

Last night he could not walk on either of his hind legs. I rushed him to an animal emergency hospital. They did x-rays and the results were not good. It seems in the past he has torn the ligaments in both his rear knees. Yes surgery could be done but it is expensive and no guarantees. An ACL tear. Surgery was talked about, but because of his x-rays the Doctor said there was no guarantee that it would help, the doctor prescribed pain killers to see if that would take care of the pain and allow him time to build scar tissue that would allow him to move on his own.

Yes until that could happen we would have to carry his hind end in a sling when he needed to go out.

About 3 in the morning this morning he dragged himself into our bedroom and needed to go out to do his business. I carried him out he could not even stand to potty. I ran inside to get on some shoes and use the facilities myself. When I got back outside he had dragged himself to the far end of the yard. I carried him back in the house and put him on his pillow. When I woke around 6am he had drug himself back into our bedroom. Even after getting a heavy dose of painkillers at the vet the night before he still could not walk.

I told the kids everything the Vet told me about; he would be on painkillers for the rest of his life. if the painkillers did not help and he did not scar well he would need surgery, that he would loose a lot of his mobility. Alex made me cry, he told me this morning that he did not want his dog to suffer and be in pain. Jack was Alex's pick or jack picked him when we went to the Humane Society May 2005.

None of us could stand to see him be in pain and addicted to pain killers for however long he had left. We got Jack because our ChowChow Subotai was dying of cancer. It had gotten into his throat and was blocking his airflow. Now I held Jack just 4 1/2 years later while he went into eternal sleep.

I feel I let him down. Jack I am sorry, I love you and miss you.

Now we have Zena the dog and Patches the cat. And John already said Zena needs a friend soon. I don't know if I can do that.

But Jack is gone and I hate myself for it.