What do the names of Odin's ravens have to do with this post? Not much. But here you go from Wikipedia; "In Norse mythology, Huginn (from Old Norse "thought"[1]) and Muninn (Old Norse "memory"[2] or "mind"[3]) are a pair of ravens that fly all over the world, Midgard, and bring information to the god Odin."
I would like to have two ravens like Odin bringing me thought and mind. I like that instead of memory. Memory huts too much right now and thought can sometimes get under control. Huginn, bring to me thought that will help and Muninn bring to me mind that will calm.
Then also how do I beat the last post form March 26, 2014? I do not know if I can, not right now.
It has been 8 weeks to the day from the last surgery. I am still in a lot of pain in some parts of my body that are directly connected to that surgery. My internist is still trying to get the medication I am on right. I am still (like even right this moment) breaking out in hives from what I am guessing is 1, the pain killers and anesthesia still in my system and 2, stress and nerves. I am still looking for work, but I have received rejection notices on my applications only. It is scary to think I could loose my house because of someone else making a decision that hurts his family. I am just a giant idiot for trusting. Never trust anyone but yourself should have been what I taught my children. Maybe I still can?
Anyhow, 8 weeks after the last surgery. I have had blood tests to make sure I do not have foreign bodies or bacteria or infections. Even though I have not had relations (adults will understand) in almost 14 months one of my doctors tested me for STD's!!!!! He did not tell me that was part of the test until after the results came in. I was flabbergasted at that. I have had a CT scan to make sure everything from the last three surgeries are healing correctly. They may have me take another in August or September because I run a risk of scaring up too much inside in my intestines and the hernia surgery and causing a whole different set of problems again, but with the same final results, death or ostomy. My divorce group therapy is almost done. Kids will be out of school the first week of June then the following week summer school starts. The son will have to go to that. He still is not wanting to drive. Oh and the son and I got new glasses and the daughter new contacts. But mine of course are wrong and had to go back to get fixed. The alternator on my car died and had it in the shop for a day. Thank goodness when I buy a new car I always spend the extra to get the extended warranty. If not it would have been $1,000 and not $100. But when I take it in for an oil change the end of the month I will need about $500 to get the brakes done and transmission fluid changed. Still paying on it for another year too. I was telling someone about the car too and the answer I got was 'go with the flow'. Really? That was like someone else I know that just inherited some money from an in law tell me that what I was going through was not reality and if I needed a reality check to call them. REALLY???!!! Yeah you break a nail and it's oh so much worse.
Huginn and Muninn bring me good reports for the three of us to act on until Odin calls us home. I for myself and my children would like that to be a happy life from this day forward until we die at 98. With our full faculties too of course. I am tired of my life being as Job's was in the Bible. Don't believe me? Perhaps someday I will let you read my diaries and journals from my childhood. And the first one of you to tell me to have some dignity and get over it?! I don't come on your turf and poo poo your hardship stories! Everyone has problems, some worse than others, but when you are living it, it is the greatest tragedy story ever at that moment for you and only you. Do not deny it. If you do you lie.
I am tired and cranky now, can you tell?. Enjoy the negative news again. I am hoping to get some positive in here soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment