Still looking for work. The anxiety that goes along with that is unbelievable. I have been looking for work for more than six months. I have not even received my acceptance letters for subbing next year from either school district I am on their sub list with. I spent three hours on Monday applying to one health organization, completely out of the field I have dreamed of working in. I have already by Tuesday received 'thank you for applying but .....' emails. I had someone tell me that used to be close to me tell me that now that I had a degree it would be nothing for me to get a good job that the kids and I could live on. Really? I know people that have been out of work for years and they are more skilled than I.
Now I am on the edge of the cliff.
The son is in summer school and it is going slow. He is still very angry about life and what is happening. He is trying to be supportive to me and I know it. Yet he is not being supportive to himself by doing things like school that he knows he should be doing and doing better in a lot of areas. I am so proud of him for trying. It take a lot for a person to keep going forward when they hurt. I know exactly how he feels.
The daughter is gearing up for college. I am so proud of her.
I am proud of both of them. They have been the ones here caring for me the most from surgery one to now. They are hurting as much as me. Yet we do not lean on each other and cry. They and I would have to admit what we do not want to. We love our family and want it to be a family again.
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