Watching the end of Alice in Wonderland, the Tim Burton version, I am reminded that even though we may want our lives to be happily ever after and magical those are in the movies. No that is not completely true because if we can not dream and have comfort in hope and faith we could not live in this world without acceptance of others.
I met a woman last night in the book store that was reading a book, which she purchased and started talking to me. She started talking to me, I was knitting, and asking me about what I was working on. She continued to engage me in conversation. She apologized and told me that she felt compelled by God to talk to me, to find out about me, to ask my story because she could feel my pain.
She is not the first person that is a complete stranger to approach me like that in the past few months. I wonder if The Creator is seeing I am not doing well counseling myself and coming to a point I can heal. I can't find that pot myself, or I don't think I can yet. I also feel empathetic to those that approach me like this. I was comfortable telling her about my recent problems. She quoted from the book she was reading that as women we need to be understanding and forgiving of the men in our lives. I agree. Sorry women, I know you may be disappointed in me but I am not. But on the other hand, men, you need to remember to be forgiving of EVERYONE in your life.
People only do the best they can.
I have a heck of a lot more to write, I feel the creative juices flowing, but I have got to get to the real world and get some things done. I have been stressing over look for work within my degree and have had no luck so far. I have been looking for 20 months as of today. Nothing. Two interviews only since December 2012. I have had my resume and presentation reviewed and assessed. No complaints. Makes me feel like I can't get what and where I need to be. Could there be someone thinking so horribly about me that those thoughts are causing my complications in life? It is not me, yes I get down and think I can't do it but at my core I KNOW I CAN!!!!
The kids and I do not deserve the current path that the world has taken us on. We have been on this struggled and rocky path of too many years, for too long, causing too much damage. We have all taken our part in making this road we are on yet as we try to get on a more comfortable path the grumpy rocky path itself does not change. At least I can't get the feeling it is changing.
For now i will leave you with these thoughts; can you tell when subtle changes are taking place for the positive? Can you survive the complete devastation of you thought you knew to be real and right? Can you in the middle of your life find good work to pay the bills and care for your family and have a life to care about?
Got to go.
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