Really? A decade already?!

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

It did not hit me until just a few days ago that we are at the end of a decade.  Ten years does not seem that long, then if you think about it, your brain goes, “Whoa there!!  Ten years is a fair amount of time.”  Then you start thinking about the past ten years.

2010:   The son was in middle school and the daughter was in high school. 

In my second year (and a half) of college at age 49 and separation in my marriage. 

A couple of pieces of skin cancer found, cut off or frozen off.

2011:   College and kids in high school. Trying to find a way to save my marriage. 

Skin cancer repeats.

2012:   Graduated with a bachelor’s in teaching (Magna cum laude) a broken jaw, kids in high school. Kids in therapy. Skin cancer repeats. Felt bad, ill for most of the end of the year.

2013:   Breath arrested twice in emergency surgery (hole in my intestine, dying of septicemia and toxemia), saw and was on the other side,  had 2 more surgeries to back up the one that saved my life.  Estranged husband called for divorce after finding someone else MUCH younger. Substituted between surgeries. Started seeing a therapist for my stress and depression. Diagnosed with socially caused PTSD. Driving off a bridge sounded okay. Skin cancer repeats.

2014:   Another surgery, this time the gallbladder.  Divorce filed against me.

Bad thoughts about myself crossed my mind on occasion. My first 5k race (I walked it). Skin cancer repeats.

2015:   Knee surgery after tearing a meniscus disk.  I got a full-time teaching job that August. Walked another 5k. Skin cancer repeats.

2016:   Divorce final in May. Summer training for work in Montessori.

The man I was seeing left me for another woman (go figure) because I was busy with my education.  Walked a 5k.

Began treatments for HPV that can cause cervical cancer.  Skin cancer repeats.  New meds for the plaque psoriasis.

2017:   Pulled out of the classroom and made a building fill in for everything from teaching to a custodian. Treatments for HPV that can cause cervical cancer.  Skin cancer repeats. Daughter moved out, Son moved away.  Got a new kitty.

2018:   Still out of the classroom full-time and being assigned anything and everything around the school. You know, just repeat 2017 just more alone. Broken toe in March told it wasn’t broken, then 6 months later told it was broken so bad a bone had to come out.  Toe surgery not till December. Repeat the cancer virus and skin cancer throughout the year.  I added a porch to the front of my home (always wanted this!).

2019:   New teaching job, LOVE it! HPV virus is gone. I will always have the skin cancer and appointments to keep that under check.  Again, a new med for the plaque psoriasis, so far so good. Same skin cancer stuff.  Son moved home! Started the Grad program.  Stating specialized training for a new teaching job. Lots of car maintenance.  Bought a new car. 

RECAP:

The last decade started off rough, very rough.  The love of my life left me, a man I fell in love with also left me for another woman.  The family seemed to turn away from me. A few really good friends stayed by my side. Children did not like me much and blamed me for their dad leaving at the very beginning of 2010.  Contemplated taking my life more than once.  Worked for 4 years in an extremely toxic place, VERY toxic workplace.  I now work in a place that is supportive.   I have learned so much in the last decade, like how to love myself again.

The decade has ended in a more positive note than it started.  My life will continue to grow in all positive aspects. The past has moved out what was/is not good for me and brought in what is better for me.  When I started writing this reflection (there is A LOT I left out) I was sad, depressed, mournful even.  Now, at the close….

I am lighter, hopeful, looking forward to better and greater things to come my way.