Fear of change

Yes I am very afraid of BIG changes.  And it looks like my family will be experiencing a big change one way or another.  What is it?  John's work is offering its people a VTP again and he is on the bubble (50/50) that if two techs in St. Louis don't take the VTP there will undoubtedly be a layoff announced and he will probably be in that layoff group.  But - he has also been offered a transfer to Omaha NE that could and should keep him out of the lay off in St. Louis.

I am scared to the point I have been sick to my stomach for a week now.  What is making me so upset?  I don't want to take my kids away from their friends and my family in St. Louis.  But I have lived in 4 different cities (St.. Louis being the 4th) and attended 7 different schools (usually due to grade changes) and hopefully I turned out okay.  John moved so many times between Texas and Chicago subs that I could not tell you.  At one point he went to 3 different elementary schools in one school year alone.  I have some great friends in St. Louis and else where and I know we will stay friends regardless of where we live, so I am not worried about John and I making it work. 

The biggest thing I am worried about is fixing and selling our house.  It needs so much care!!!  We don't have the money and when/if we sell will we get enough to get another house in a good school district for the kids.

I am scared of all of it.

Oh did I say if John says yes he has to be there in Omaha full time in August?  Hey we need help!!!! 

Keep reading for more as it happens.  I need an outlet and it looks like the blog is it.