It's not all about me damn it! RANT about hurt feelings

I am a wounded bird snapping to let you know. 

Stop poking me with that stick, it hurts. 

Either accept me or not, it is your choice, not mine. 

I am who I am and I have tried to change for you, for a lot of people.  But I still make no one happy.

I don't even know who I am or if I am what the Creator intended.  Spent my whole life not knowing and being told I was wrong and no good for much of anything.  Why can't you be better! In other words, why can't you be who I want you to be and not who you really are.

Why can't I be accepted for who I am?  Whoever that person is?

My heart can be broken just so many times. 

Someday it will scar over so much it can't feel anything but pain.

Maybe my fate is to be the old lonely fat crazy cat lady that throws rocks at the neighbor kids and yells at them to get out of her yard and calls the cops on everyone just so no one can get close to her again and break her heart more.

Maybe I can't change?  Or maybe no one is ever supposed to be happy with me long term?

The kids will grow up and I will just go away somewhere and not tell anyone.  That should be one thing I can do to make everyone happy.

(note:  I deleted everything else, there was a lot, it's no one's business but mine.  Even if anyone read it, it would not change your mind at all about me.  It would probably scare you off even more.)