I went to a fundraising dinner for friends who are suffering a huge financial hardship due to extensive medical bills. She has not left him, as I was left, she is standing by him, helping him, doing everything she can to keep their life together strong and help him heal and get better. Me, I was left. Like an idiot I hurt still from his actions 3 years ago.
Also today, someone I care deeply about devoted himself to a woman he has been dating off and on for a while. Yes, I love him. But he not I, as much.
I have no faith that there is someone for me. I have lost all feeling and hope that there is more than loneliness for me. God kept me from death 3 times now in my life. As hurt as I am I do not care to know why I was left to live and care not to think of it. Because if I do think of it or care I will question why I am alive and why all this constant pain.
No comments:
Post a Comment