I had another bad dream last night. I am coming to the conclusion that since all I have are bad dreams that those dreams are telling me how my life is going to be. They are all the same, no one being there for me when I am in need. No one steps up. I had all these same dreams when I was married, to both husbands. Even before being married, as a child with my parents, as an adolescent, as, well you get the idea. Either I have abandonment issues since birth or the spirits are telling me that it will always be me and to stop hoping someone else will be there for me when I need them.
I was being held for ransom. I don't know who was keeping me but if no one came up to say, 'I truly care and love her and would defend her out of love and care', then I would not be let go.
No one came forward, not family or friend or stranger. My captor told me there would be escape for me or release. There was no one that would come to my aid.
So I give into the devoid of emotions, the knowledge that I will go forward alone.
I have fallen in love and loved so many people, friends and partners, to the point I would be there to break them free if I could. I have to concentrate that on breaking myself free now.
Either that or quit life.
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